i went out on a date last night, and it was, surprisingly comfortable. we had a wonderful connection, although we were fundamentally incompatible in some ways (politics, etc) with the last person i was dating – we were compatible on all levels of values and beliefs, but the conversational chemistry…
bonding w/ someone feels… incredibly special. i think about the times i bonded with you — human to human. just two hearts, two beings, in one place, entangled in warmth, safety, and love. i keep thinking about the small moments when your head would be resting on mine — it felt like such a place of comfort and peace. thank you, for giving that to me. i still think about the times i bit the tips of your finger tips and kissed them softly — i could feel them running against my cheek — and again, you felt safe.
the smell of you
i haven’t cared for someone in a long time — i truly, genuinely cared for you. i’d been with lovers before you. and yes, i still deeply care for one of them, but i forgot how intricate and layered it was to be intertwined with someone you would do anything for in a heartbeat. you were a special one, e. i woke up thinking of you this morning and i missed the smell of you — burying my nose into your neck — our warm selves intertwined.
dear e, thank you for everything. it was nice cuddling with you. it was nice spending time with you. it was so nice being in your arms. i loved giving you kisses, and i loved your kisses on my head. you were sweet, gentle, and kind. i wish to see more men like you, in the world – smart men. men who protect, and men who care. you were so sweet to me. i still love you. i can still feel your warmth around me – you’ve inspired me.